Things I Miss About The Good Old Days
A short list of things I miss about the good old days.
I miss not knowing what cellulite is. I was perfectly blissful living in ignorance about this subject.
I miss buying a new records and listening to them while enjoying the artwork on the album cover.
I miss sweeping the kitchen floor without my sciatic nerve going into sadistic spasms. This also applies to vacuuming, raking, weedeating, dancing, walking, moving around in general.
I miss my eyes being red because I was a little stoned or hung over instead of being red because of old people aging problems.
I miss freckles being cute or sexy instead of being a cause to go visit the doctor.
I miss staying awake all night reading because the book is good, now I stay awake all night reading because I can’t sleep.
I miss easily reaching behind myself to do things like scratch my back, unfasten my bra, wipe my rear end. I can still do these things, but it sure is harder than it used to be.
I miss being annoyed because my hair is was thick and heavy.
I miss saying “huh” because I was ignoring what people said instead of the “huh” I use now because I didn’t hear what people said.
